In Continuation

"I've been thinking about gay sex" Mama informed me. "You know, since we were talking about Brokeback Mountain".

I cringed. "Yes" I say. "What about it?"

"Well, they reckon that you are either a giver or a taker, don't they" she stated.

"Who are 'they'?" I ask.

"You know, everyone".

"Who?"

"Everyone!" she replied. I felt this line of questioning to be slightly redundant. I moved on.

"Riiiiight" I said, trying to get the point.

"So what happens if a giver meets a giver, or a taker meets a taker?"

"I... err... I am not sure. I don't even think that is works that way"

"There must be some really horny gay people out there" she said, solemnly.

Cowboy Time

We were sat at the kitchen table. Conversation was flowing. Mama, her best friend and myself were having quite a wonderful time. And then:-

"I say, you know how we watched Brokeback Mountain the other night?" she asked me.

"Uh-huh" I replied.

"Well, that was the third time I have seen it, but the first time that I realised that even though they are both gay, when they are not with each other they still have sex with women".

"Uh-huh"

"Well, its funny isn't it?" she continued. "They never did it in missionary with the women, did they? It always had to be doggy-style from behind".

Uh-huh. She didn't actually have to say the words 'doggy-style' out loud though, did she?