Thumb and Forefinger

In the living room this morning I experienced one of those lazy Sunday morning am-I-really-awake-or-am-I-having-some-sort-of-freakish-dream moments over my Krispies when I bore witness to Craig David, of making-love-everyday-but-Sunday fame, creating the base for a Millionaire Shortbread on national television. Not even an obscure freeview channel, but proper, grown-up, Normal Telly.

I suppose for those of us whom presumed that the only reason Mr. David paused for breath and forsook yet another buxom squeeze on the day of the Sabbath was to go to church and repent for aforementioned illicitliaisons (after all, you can go out wearing white, but you will only come home wearing black where he is involved...) were quite surprised when it transpired that the saucy little love-making machine actually gets down and dirty with bakery items on the Christian holy day. Tasty.

So in the spirit of the programme, I too indulged in some kitchen antics today, inspired by the antics of Craig to learn how to make pastry. Mouthwatering, buttery, flaky to the touch pop it on your pie pastry. It was all that rubbing between the thumb and forefinger in a light but bracing manner that persuaded me.

In light of The Affair dad took it upon himself to undertake my mission to puff-dom (being his Straight Child this was particularly exciting) as his own by sitting reading The Sunday Times in his favourite armchair chair and yelling through instructions to a very frustrated, purple faced and flour speckled me in the kitchen. Particularlyhelpful, if you make allowances for the fact that my only distraction from all the kneading and rubbing and flour-sprinkling was then an overwhelming urge to twollop him one with my rolling pin.

The highlight of the cookery session, which lasted all of of twenty minutes (is that all? Can we make something else now? Why is there such a mess?) was replicating the thumb and forefinger rubbing in front of my nipples a la Nigella Lawson on latest cookery series. Dad didn't find that part funny. Prude.

So, maybe on Monday I'll google a new recipe for pastry-filling, and on Tuesday buy the ingredients... and then find some fillings for my pies on Wednesday... and Thursday... and Friday... you get the picture.